Lovecraft Drawing Winner

Justin of MISSLE AN(e)US wins this one by default since he was the only one to send an entry in.

Even though it was the only entry, it's still a pretty sweet sketch:



Justin wins a shiny new copy of Lovecraft Tales from The Library of America. If any of you want to try for second place send entries to: youngmancane_13@hotmail.com
Oh and Justin, send me your address!

I may try this again sometime next month if I can get more people to participate.

In the Basement

Baby I love you
But there's something you don't know
I want you to hear me clear
So I'll try and say it slow
This might take a bit of explaining
But I hope you'll understand
That you'll still love me
When I'm done
And let me be your man...

My mothers in the basement
She's dead but not quite
She groans and moans
So loudly
That I can't sleep at night
You see, a monkey bit her
And then she stepped on it's head
She died but then she rose up
And now she's undead
I don't have the heart to kill her
So I keep her tranquilized...
But I love you more than her
Can't you see it in my eyes

I need you to take my hand
And we'll kill her by ourselves
Oh I forgot to tell you
There's a few more down there as well
The priest he died how he lived
Kicking ass and taking names
But now he is a zombie
It's a low down goddamn shame
Oh yeah and there's a gang of greasers
In bits and pieces now
Even though they're dangerous
We'll destroy them all somehow
I almost forgot the baby
Born of an undead womb
We'll kill them all together
Our love will see us through...

Hey babe where are you going?
I can't do this by alone!
Can I at least have your number?
We'll talk later on the phone
Babe please stop running!
You know me, I'm perfectly sane!
We'll make these zombies into soup
And then fuck away the pain

Story Idea

Yeah, I'm still insane, but here's a story idea pulled out from the depths of that insanity.

Title: Road to Nowhere

Premise:
In the future, the world is facing a crisis. There's too many people and not enough food to feed anyone. The air, land and sea, are polluted to the point that almost no edible plant life exists anymore. Millions are starving and it's currently only the rich that seem to be having an easy go of it, even though their future looks bleak as well as most of the working force are slowly starving to death. Synthetic foods are all the rage of course, but they're very expensive and hard to make.
Zymethaline-5 is created accidentally by a scientist trying to combine two separate vegetable genes (exactly which ones is still uncertain). It's a very odd plant, looking like a very large pale white radish. It has sort of a bitter taste but not unpleasant. The taste doesn't matter though, the main thing is that it grows incredibly fast and in almost impossible conditions. It takes a very small amount of water and produces a very large amount of seeds in return, as well as a large edible bulb.
The new plant spreads like wildfire all over the world. It's heralded as the Saviour of the human race and the companies that sell the seeds and plants get very rich. New kinds are created that offer more nutrition, better flavor, larger bulbs. They fancy kinds are mostly eaten by the rich though, the poor get the very cheap, very basic kind in grocery stores and seed marts.
It becomes the staple food of previously starving world, allowing it to function better than it has for a very long time.
Some people, however, refuse to touch the things. Just like any other miraculous new thing that comes out, there are naysayers. The naysayers claim that Zymethaline-5 (Zym to the common people) wasn't tested enough before being sent out to the world at large. They claim that something very bad is going to come, and the world is going to crumble again, worse than it was before. And you know what? They're right.

For awhile, everything is fine. Sure there's the usual wars and political drama, and celebrity scandals, but at least most nations now have enough to eat. It's not until decades after that the murders start. Of course at first, nobody attributes it to the plant. Murders happen every day. But the strangeness of the violent acts starts to gain attention. An eight year old girl kills her step-father while he sleeps with a kitchen butcher knife. An elementary school teacher guts several of her students before she's gunned down by the cops. A small town preacher blows his own congregation with a bomb. Most of the murders are very random, committed by people who would never have even though about even shoplifting. It becomes a worldwide epidemic and no one can figure why it's happening, until people start to mutate....

It turns out that Zymethaline-5 only effects certain people negatively, making them prone to acts of unspeakable violence and eventually twisting their bodies into hideous forms. Scientists, however, are at a loss to figure out why it only happens to certain people and Zym is too important a world food source for people to stop eating. While the plant is tested and retested and the captured mutants subjected to unspeakable tortures in the name of science, the mutants that have escaped capture are slowly forming an underground society....

Characters:
Haven't come up with any yet.

Sound good, crappy? Ideas to throw into the pot?

Stay Tuned

Please excuse the lack of updates, I've been slowly going insane and it's very hard to write with these bugs crawling all over my skin and blood leeches eating away my brain. When I get back to reality, I'll post up a notice.

Lets all be sacrilegious...

Seems like a pretty silly thing to kill people over isn't it? Prove to these assholes that you're not scared and post your own!

Some Things I Really Dislike

1. Soggy Cereal
2. The awkwardness that comes when a girl you like says that she thinks of herself as ugly and/or stupid.
3. When I start a friendship with someone and then find out that they're a racist misogynistic asshole.
4. Seeing spiders get killed.
5. A great movie with a horrible ending that makes the whole rest of what you just watched suck. (I'm looking at you I Bury the Living).
6. Shitty remakes of good movies.
7. When I discover a great relatively unknown movie and then find out that there's a remake coming out soon. (Everyone watch the original Don't Look Now and please skip the one coming out in 2011).
8. Being into a girl and then finding out that they have a boyfriend/are married. And then having them mention their significant other in every conversation.
6. John Mayer/Jason Marz/Jack Johnson...DOUCHEBAG ACOUSTIC GUITAR ROCK!
7. The spins you get from drinking a lot which inevitably leads to profuse vomiting.
8. Being talked to like a little child.
9. Piles of dead insects. Usually houseflies, but cockroaches would be pretty bad too.
10. People who talk crap about Mystery Science Theater 3000. SHUT UP OR I WILL SERIOUSLY CUT YOU!
11. Walking into a public bathroom with one sit down stall and finding that someone has shit on the floor/on the seat. (This has happened to me way too many times).
12. Cellphones in movie theaters or libraries or any other place that you should be able to go to escape assholes and their cellphones.
13. The fact that Oprah has her own magazine and puts herself on every cover. And for reasons that I can't quite come to terms with, the fact that she got millions of housewives to read Steinbeck, which they never would have touched otherwise, makes me want to hurl.

And finally, one thing that I love:
Oasis techno.


Oh and one more thing. I really want to start a movie discussion club type thing again. Does anyone have any ideas for how we could get it to work better than it did last time?

It's motherf**king Cartoon Time

Yes it is. Here's some animations that you should watch. Because they are awesome.

Tex Avery spits in the eye of every overly cute fairy tale cartoon ever made:


A simple story of life, death, and gerbils:


Radiohead makes me feel weird...in my pants

And finally, Fleisher mindfuckery at it's very best:


Happy nightmares!

Edit: Okay, how about one more awesome Betty Boop cartoon?: