Stream of Consciousness Experiment

This is an interesting experiment. Just write whatever comes into your head, let it flow out as you write.
Here's mine:

Take the left fork to the left side of the road and hit the apple tree on the third branch. A man will fall and tell you were you need to turn next. Don't listen to him though, go the opposite way and you will reach the rusted out factory where the manic depressive elves live. Don't go there. Go to the broken down pizza hut next to it and order a large baloney sandwich with three kinds of cheese. A stairway will appear and you will be magically carried away by a pink and purple horse. His name is Hal. Do not ride him. Kick him in the balls and he will vomit magical stomach acid. Take some of this and give it to the dead dog thats rotting outside. He will revive and bite off your hand. Don't worry, you don't need it anyways. Follow him down to the mill by the park where the gay faeries dance and charter a riverboat to the seventh level of Hell. Hell is where your mother lives, don't you remember when she told you to eat her vegetables and you told her you wished she was dead? That wasn't very nice.
Tell the faeries to piss off and they will attack you and bite out your spleen. You will need this later so kill the pamby bastard that did it and get it back. Now board the fershulugin ship and sail away to the dark red waters of Hell. Throw your spleen at Satan and he will surrender his ship and his many many barrels of whores. This was your mission all along, you see. Now you have enough skanky sluts to last a lifetime! You congratulate yourself and get VD. The end.

Well that was fun. What can you guys come up with?
CYOF tomorrow, I swear, I've got it all planned out!