More of My Favorite Toy Ads

Ah, Mr. Bucket, he sure does love to pop your balls out of his mouth. I've had the jingle stuck in my head for years but never realized how dirty it was till I looked up the video on Youtube.

And now please enjoy Mr. Bucket in Hell:



I still say ads for classic video games were the the best ever made. You just don't get the same level of epic cheesiness anymore. "Back vile beast!"

And on that note, here's some Tiger Electronics ads.

These things were so fucking lame, they knew they had to make them look cool in the ads. And yes, I had a few. I had a Star Wars, Sonic 2, and Pinball. They were a poor substitute for a real console, let me tell you.

Check out these Jurassic Park ads:


They must not have been selling well so they upped the ante by...killing all the kids in the ads? I love how the venom now looks like shit instead of water.


And finally, Batman:

Jeez kid, overact much?

Alright, enough toys from my sad childhood. Lets get really vintage.

Holy fucking shit! Later generations got totally gipped by child safety laws. Look at that fucking gun! I'm drooling now and I'm 23 years old!
And that's not even the best one.


Where can I get one? I want to go around pretending to shoot cops and other authority figures! Bang bang, you're dead teacher, you're dead! This is why I can't have nice things.


Apparently toy robot dogs are nothing new and they were gay back then too.

Lets get back to shooting things.

Not as cool, but it's neat to see the games they had before video games.


Now that's more like it! Look at that fucking thing! You'd be the coolest kid in the neighborhood with that, I don't care what generation you grew up in.

Alight, lets go with a modern ad now. It's got to be better than all those dusty old ads right?

This is a new ad for an old toy that they used to advertise all the time on Nickelodeon. Like Mr. Bucket, I still have the old jingle stuck in my head. This new ad? It sucks on so many levels. The jingle isn't catchy, the cartoon elephant is made in flash instead of actually animated well, and what the fuck is dad doing in the commercial? That's not going to make the toy look cool! You never include the parents in the ads unless they're there to look stupid.
I can't seem to find the old ad anywhere leading me to believe that all traces of it were destroyed to make room for this abomination.

Uck, lets end this with a video game ad to wash the taste of failure away.

Mike Tyson laughs at you in the commercial, fucking awesome. Man, I want to play Punch-out now. Lets see if I can get past Bald Bull this time...