The convoluted solution!
> Take off cloak.
Now you're cold and naked. That accomplished a lot.
> Use cloak on pan.
You wipe the filthy rags you were wearing around the pan, covering it in sickening meat grease.
> Put cloak down rat hole.
You stuff the nasty rags down the hole. You feel a tug on the end of it!
> Take cloak.
You pull the cloak out of the hole to find several rats clinging to the bottom, gnawing away. One of them has a key around it's neck!
> Grab rat.
It looks rather plaguey, I wouldn't if I were you.
> Grab key.
Very carefully you pinch the key between your fingers and pull. The rat stops gnawing and falls to the ground, but the key is in your fingers! You throw the cloak as hard as you can against the wall and step on the rats as they try to scurry away, smashing their little furry bodies beneath your feet. That ought to show them! You think as their pathetic little squeaks fade away...
> Use key on book.
You insert the ky in the lock and turn and it snaps open!
> Open book.
You open the book expecting it be maybe be a Gideon's Bible or insurance seminar pamphlet, but there's no writing to be found! You open to the middle of the book. You see a small whistle in the hollowed out pages.
> Get whistle.
You have the whistle. What fun.
> Look whistle.
It's a small yellow whistle. Hooray?
> Blow whistle.
You put the whistle to your lips and blow with all your might...
Game save in progress....
Progress saved.
No sound emits out of the end of the whistle. You wait for something to happen. After what seems like forever, you get bored and sit on the ground. You're about to throw the whistle away when a large red demon appears in the middle of the room! Just look at his demonic red horns! And goat legs! And silk women's undergarments and pimp jacket? What kind of a demon is this?
> Talk to demon.
"I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MEPHISTO" He starts, "YOU SHALL..." He interrupts himself with a fit of coughing.
"Sorry about that. Damn, I really need to quit smoking. Um, you blew the whistle right?
> Yes.
"Well what the Hell did you want man? I've got these ladies over and we've got all this wine to drink and we were gonna watch Twilight.
> Tell the demon that Twilight sucks.
"WHAT!" He roars, his eyes turning red, "HOW DARE YOU INSULT THAT MOST EXCELLENT FILM! EDWARD CULLEN IS TWICE THE MAN YOU WILL EVER BE! FEEL MY WRATH!"
He points a finger and suddenly the world goes dark. When you wake you are sitting in a movie theater. You are tied up and your eyes are being held open with pointy metal things. Guess what movie is playing? That's right, you get to watch Twilight for all eternity! You're not dead...but I bet you wish you were!
Restart from last save point...
No sound emits out of the end of the whistle. You wait for something to happen. After what seems like forever, you get bored and sit on the ground. You're about to throw the whistle away when a large red demon appears in the middle of the room! Just look at his demonic red horns! And goat legs! And silk women's undergarments and pimp jacket? What kind of a demon is this?
> Talk to demon.
"I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MEPHISTO" He starts, "YOU SHALL..." He interrupts himself with a fit of coughing.
"Sorry about that. Damn, I really need to quit smoking. Um, you blew the whistle right?
> Yes.
"Well what the Hell did you want man? I've got these ladies over and we've got all this wine to drink and we were gonna watch Twilight.
> Ask the demon for help in escaping.
"WHAT?" The demon roars, "YOU ASK A FAVOR OF MEPHISTO AND DON'T EVEN PUT FORTH A PLEASE? YOU RUDE EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN! I'LL TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS!"
He points a finger and the world goes dark. When you wake you are strapped to a table. A man in a tweed coat walks around you reading from a large book which you eventually realize is your ninth grade math book! You're not dead, but I bet you wish you were!
Restart from last save point...
No sound emits out of the end of the whistle. You wait for something to happen. After what seems like forever, you get bored and sit on the ground. You're about to throw the whistle away when a large red demon appears in the middle of the room! Just look at his demonic red horns! And goat legs! And silk women's undergarments and pimp jacket? What kind of a demon is this?
> Talk to demon.
"I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MEPHISTO" He starts, "YOU SHALL..." He interrupts himself with a fit of coughing.
"Sorry about that. Damn, I really need to quit smoking. Um, you blew the whistle right?
> Yes.
"Well what the Hell did you want man? I've got these ladies over and we've got all this wine to drink and we were gonna watch Twilight.
> Ask the demon to please help you escape.
"Well," He says, rubbing his goatee, "Since you were polite about it...ALAKAZAMMM!" He shouts and red lightening surges through the room! The demon laughs manically and then is interrupted by another coughing fit.
"Sorry," he says and the lightening stops. "Here.." He points towards the door, which quietly swings open. "The guard is asleep, try not to wake him up and...oh wait, do you think you can do something for me?"
> Yeah sure.
He pulls out a flask and offers it to you.
"There's a witch that lives in this dungeon, take this flask to her. She'll know who it's from. He winks and you suppress a shiver.
> Take flask.
"Well, TTFN! Ta Ta for Now!" He exclaims and suddenly the room is filled with red smoke! When it evaporates, the demon is still standing looking at you. He shrugs his shoulders and walks out the door.
> Look at flask.
It's your average everyday round flask. It's full of some weird clear liquid.
Save progress...
Progress saved.
Quit.
Are you sure you want to quit?
Yes.
Goodbye quitter!
Part 3 tomorrow!
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1 comment:
Haha, Demons should always be really kinky and high-strung, but vampires should never sparkle. I'm diggin' like this series of posts.
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