Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Currently the coolest thing I own

A huge thank you to Katie Rice and Luke Cormican at Dumm comics for being awesome and selling these Skadi prints. I framed it myself but I'm not the best at it so it's a bit crooked, but not too bad. I just think it looks so freakin' cool, don't you? (Don't click on the images, they look better small.)

My John Coulton DVD/CD live set came today as well as my copy of The Annotated Alice, I am a happy camper! I'm going to go out and kiss a homeless person. Okay, maybe I'm not that happy...

Update: Shoot, these pictures look horrible! I need to practice with my camera a bit more...

Monday, May 25, 2009

Sometimes I Wish...

I would be wondering around some run down looking town of the sort that Lovecraft always sets his stories in and find an old antique store. I won't want to go in but my hot red headed girlfriend really wants the lamp thats sitting in the window for our apartment. I think it looks ugly as sin but she drags me inside anyways.
The old man behind the counter looks like he's dead, he's sitting in a rickety chair with his head tilted up towards the ceiling, his mouth wide open. Cindy (thats my hot girlfriend's name) coughs and the old man sits up and glares at us out of his one good eye.
"What ya want?" He growls and glares some more. The must and dank of the junk palace starts to make me sick. Plus I'm getting bored. I wander off while Cindy haggles with the creepy old man for the price of the crappy lamp.
I wander along the isles and isles of junk, occasionally picking up a weird looking broken toy or water damaged book. Suddenly I turn around. The place looks larger than I thought. Wait, where did that book go that I just picked up? The one with the blue cover and all the strange writing inside? I set it back on a stool which is also gone. I wander around the suddenly warehouse size place for what feels like hours till I come to a strange clearing in the piles of junk and broken down shelves. In the middle is a doll with a cracked face and one blue eye that seems to be staring into my soul. I turn to go but there's no opening behind me.
"I knew you'd come." Says the doll without moving it's lips.
"what the Hell is going on here?" I say and slowly move my hand towards a piece of rusting farm equipment behind me.
"I am a princess that is trapped in this body by the evil proprietor of this store and all I need you to do is kiss me and..."
I swing the hunk of metal down on the things head smashing it into a millions shards of china. The way opens up and I run as fast as I can back through the store as it's screams ring around me....

My hot girlfriend is still bargaining with the old man for the lamp. I grab her arm and we run out.
"What's wrong with you?" She says, pissed off.
"Nothing," I say and kiss her. "Lets go home and have sex all night."
"Yes, lets" She says.
And we do. All night and into the next morning.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Way Down Upon the Swanee River...

I have just returned from a two week vacation at the old homestead. Sniff, I get a tear in my eye just thinking about it now. Here's the house my parents lived in:

I, however, wasn't allowed in there. Instead of having to sleep in the yard, I had a house of my own! It doesn't look much different now than it did then:

Oh the happy memories! Here's the main hall where I would sit for hours torturing small animals with a rusty hacksaw:

Here's the playroom:

I slept up here with many wasp's nests to keep me company:

Oh, and here's a picture of my family at Christmas (Minus me, I wasn't allowed in the family photos either):

A closeup of my lovely sister:

And here a rare picture of me all dressed up to take cousin Mary Ann to the film show. I sure do clean up nice don't I?

I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into my life. Next time: A riveting true story about trespassing, x-rays, and old trailers.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Coming up!!

I've been home for the past two weeks and it's been awesome! I've got a few stories to tell...

I was at Goodwill today and I bought a bunch of cheap records. I will most certainly be putting pictures up. And also possibly pictures of the woods behind the house I grew up in.

Stay Tuned!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Song For Matt

It's 2:30 in the morning...

Some people go to movies
Some people go to plays
Some people go out bowling
Or lay in bed all day
But we stay out much to late
And run around in the dark...
And stomp around old disgusting houses
Just to get our larks, hey!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Where to Publish...

So this is what I'm thinking...well I was thinking about that flea market rap video all day but that's not what I was going to post about...Oh well, here it is:

There, now it's stuck in your head too!

Erm, hrrm, hrrm, hrrm (those are clearing throat noises). My idea before I got derailed by viral video, was to try and find a magazine to send Mean Joe off too. The thing is that I don't have an ending on it yet. Still, I'm curious to see if I could get it published. I don't have a literary agent or any of that crap so finding an actual magazine that takes amateur stuff is going to be kinda tough. I used to have a subscription to Weird Tales so that's probably where I'm going to send it off first. If I do that I probably won't post the last part up here, you'll just have to buy the magazine! If I fail in my endeavor though, I'll post the last part up and you can read it for free. Now I'm off to finish the story...

Check back here in a few weeks to see the rejection slip!

Update: Arrrg! Weird Tales isn't taking submissions till the end of the month! Well, back to cruising the Internet for places to submit writing...

Friday, May 1, 2009