Puke (You Make Me Sick)

A response of sorts to Plastics by John-Michael Morgan.

Flee from me female
Your head is full of air
Your plastic skin makes me sick
I hate your bleached out hair
You act like you're so holy
You're up and we're all down
But we all know you're the town bar
And everyone's had a round

Someday you'll get what you deserve
When some guy knocks you up
He'll lay you low and drag you down
Then you'll be shit out of luck

It makes me laugh but I still feel sick
Every time that you walk by
Every time you talk out loud
And spit in someone's eye
So I'm going to say it right to your face
It's the least that I can do
I hate you more than Hitler
You make me fucking puke

The Fool's Song

When I was a young boy
This is what I was told:
"Get your head on straight
Before you get too old
Listen to your teachers
And study hard in school
Don't you be no fool."

So I studied hard in school
And I passed all my tests
I listened to my teachers
And my parents took care of the rest
I met a girl named Suzy and I married her one June
and I said "I ain't no fool."

Now I've got a good job
I go to work every day
I listen to what the boss says
I'm Submissive in every way
I've got three kids to feed
With another coming any day
But I'm fine in every way

Today I got a letter
From the local draft boardee
They said that the worlds at war
And they have a need for me
Goodbye to my job and home
Goodbye to my wife
I start a brand new life!

Yesterday a mortar came down
And hit me in the knees
I woke up in the hospital
Whats become of me?
I ain't got no legs at all
And I'm missing part of my head
Goodness gracious, I wish I were dead!

Now I have no job at all
Because I cannot walk
I've smoked too many cigarettes
It's hard for me to talk
I just sit on my porch
And my lap it gathers drool
And I call myself the world's biggest fool

Inspired by this song and my growing disillusionment with the US Military:

Chatroom Adventures

PM - Coolguy and Narutofan
Coolguy: Hello!
Narutofan: Hi, how are you tonight?
Coolguy: Pretty good. This is my first time in a chat room.
Narutofan: Really? Where have you been? Under a rock?
Coolguy: Well this is the first time I've had my own computer.
Narutofan: Sweet! How old are you?
Coolguy: 18? U?
Narutofan: 22. Where you from man?
Coolguy: Texas. U?
Narutofan: Ohio. You like anime?
Coolguy: Not really no.
Narutofan: Why the Hell not? You're not a hater are you?
Coolguy: No I just haven't watched much of it.
Narutofan: HATER HATER HATER!
Coolguy: Dude I'm totally not!
Narutofan: HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER
Coolguy: Dude knock it the fuck off!
Narutofan: HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER
HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER
Narutofan: HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER HATER
Coolguy: What the hells your problem?
(Narutofan has been banned for spam)
Coolguy: Fuck.
(The room is empty no one has heard you)

Logan's Den
Coolguy: So hows everyone doing tonight?
Sissyguy: Alright I guess.
Dannyf: My balls itch.
Amy16: Ew! TMI!
Hugecock69: Any hot girls in here want to cyber? PM me
Coolguy: What's cyber mean?
Dannyf: Lol, you stupid fuckhead.
Amy16: Look it up on urbandictionary noob.
Hugecock69: Any girls here at all?
Amy16: No get the fuck out perv!
(Hugecock69 has left the room)
Coolguy: I read the definition but I still don't get it.
Dannyf: You dumb shit how fucking stupid are you?
Amy16: Just fucking leave coolguy you goddamn noob!
Coolguy: Noob? I don't get it. Whats with all these weird words?
(Amy16 has squelched Coolguy)
Coolguy: I'm so confused.
Dannyf: Just fucking leave.
(Coolguy has left the room)

Teen Music Chat
(Coolguy has entered the room)
Coolguy: Hello how is everyone tonight?
Kornrox: Fucking bored as shit.
Ledzepfan: Getting stoned.
Indiegirl: Horny.
Kornrox: I can fix that!
Indiegirl: Lol I bet you'd like that wouldn't you?
Kornrox: You'd wouldn't be able to take me I'd tear you wide open.
Indiegirl: Ew! Fucking nasty potty mouth!
Kornrox: My girlfriend likes it.
Ledzepfan: ROFL! yeah right you don't have a girlfriend!
Coolguy: How do I PM someone?
Indiegirl: Just double click the name of the person you want to talk to on the right side bar.
Kornrox: Do too! And she sucks my dick whenever I want!
Ledzepfan: She probably weighs like 500 pounds.
Kornrox: Fuck you asshole!
Ledzepfan: (takes drag on joint) Fuck thats good shit!
(Longcock69 has entered the room)
Longcock69: Any guys into gay submissive r/p?
Kornrox: Lol! Wtf fag!
Ledzepfan: This room is officially dead I'm getting the fuck out.
Kornrox: Me too, fuck this place.
(Ledzepfan has left the room)
(Kornrox has left the room)
Longcock69: Any guys at all?

PM - Coolguy and Indiegirl
Coolguy: Hi!
Indiegirl: Hello, how are you tonight?
Coolguy: Alright I guess. This is my first time using chatrooms.
Indiegirl: Oh wow. So you've never cybored before?
Coolguy: No, how do you do it?
Indiegirl: Well, lets start off with you telling me what you look like.
Coolguy: Uh, I'm about six foot tall, blonde hair blue eyes. Skinny.
Indiegirl: I'm about 5 foot 5. long brown hair down to my waist. I'm wearing a tight t-shirt with no bra and short shorts.
Coolguy: Hot!
Indiegirl: Now describe what you'd do to me if you were with me right now.
Coolguy: I'm taking off your shirt and wait how big are your boobs?
Indiegirl: Really big.
Coolguy: I'm feeling up your huge boobs.
Indiegirl: Mmmm, I let you feel up my boobs.
Coolguy: Sucking on your nipples.
Indiegirl: Mmmm, feels so good!
Coolguy: I'm taking off your shorts.
Indiegirl: My huge cock flops out and hits you in the face.
Coolguy: What the hell?
Indiegirl: I knock you to the ground and start fucking you up the ass!
Coolguy: I'm out of here
(Coolguy has left the room)
Indiegirl: Lol fucking noob!
(The room is empty no one hears you)

Submissive Sex Chat
(Coolguy has entered the room)
Throbbingcock69: Hey are you into pedophiliac bondage r/p?
Coolguy: Fuck this I'm going to bed.
(Coolguy has left the room)
Throbbingcock69: Anyone?
(The room is empty no one has heard you)

A lonely dark apartment - r/t
Coolguy: Uck, I feel like I need a shower!
(The room is empty no one has heard you)

Weekend Movie Rents #1

It's almost midnight and I've just finished watching Mimi wo sumaseba (Whisper of the Heart)(1995). It was kind of a nice end to the weekend since I started off on Friday with Heavy Metal (1981). They're interesting to contrast. Heart is a simple story, stunningly animated (it's a Studio Ghibli film so of course it is) and made for a primarily young female audience. Metal is crudely animated on a minuscule budget and obviously made for horny teenage boys. I guess it means that boys escape with movies about having sex with impossibly proportioned women and girls escape with dramas about falling in love?
They're both well worth watching, although you'll probably need a few beers before you can properly get into Heavy Metal.
I watched another Ghibli film on Saturday, Tonari no Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro) (1988). It was the first Ghibli film that I've seen that wasn't set in a fantasy world, although it had fantasy creatures in it. One thing that really strikes me every time I put one of these movies in is how different they are from American animated films. There's no blatant pop culture referencing, no stupid puns, no wacky characters to annoy the piss out of parents who watch with their kids, inevitably voiced by Robin Williams. The Disney trailers that run when you put the DVDs in are so markedly different, that it's almost stunning. I would not only recommend these films, but anything put out by Ghibli or with Hayao Miyazaki's name on it. I'm working my way through all the ones I can get my hands on right now.

So what else did I get in? Night of the Lepus for one. What a joke of a movie. The joke is that it's not scary at all, but the people making it thought it was. Or did they? it's hard to tell if they were serious or not. Just the premise alone is enough to make you snicker: Killer bunny rabbits. Now I know that rabbits can be pretty fierce in the wild. They have very strong back legs and sharp claws and have been known to disembowel cats for crying out loud. But seeing a group of domesticated rabbits hopping down the street (in slow motion!) isn't going to strike fear into the hearts of anyone at all, and it's almost mind boggling to think that the filmmakers though it was going to.
Throw in the fact that the director was primarily known for making westerns and shot the damn film like a cheap western (IE really badly and with no attempt at moody lighting or music) and you've got a movie so impossibly bad that it's hard to wrap your mind around it.

And thus we move to Pink Flamingos (1973). I had never seen a John Waters film before and felt this was a good place to start. How do I describe what it feels like to watch this? Imagine a home movie made by a cast of carnival freaks and geeks. They make their money by making people feel as uncomfortable as possible. And that's what Flamingos does. It wallows in it's own filth and sickness, constantly trying to top itself in crudeness and gross outs. I loved it though. It's the kind of low budget trash that I always seem to enjoy best for some reason. Yeah, I watch good movies too, I try and get a variety, but what Bergman film is going to have a guy singing out of his ass? Or have an overweight drag queen eating fresh dog shit? I have this weird love of the bizarre and off-beat and these movies are where I get my fix.
I'll never look at eggs or listen to Patti Page quite the same way again though...

Sorry these aren't more comprehensive reviews. I hate giving away plot details for people that haven't seen the movies. It was a pretty good weekend as far as movies went. These were all worth watching for different reasons. Next time I think is going to be all Ghibli or Ghibli related films. The company I rent from is kind of weird in what it sends me though, which I kind of like.

Oh yeah, I got drunk on Jack and sprite on Friday night and re-watched parts of Heavy Metal with a friend that came over. So I've watched it sober and drunk, and believe me, it's much better when you're hammered. Probably when you're stoned too, although I've never smoked so I wouldn't know.

Half Drunk Song

Alcohol and bars and greasy food and...here's a song!
(I'm probably going to delete this when I sober up in the morning)

I took you to a dance on Friday night
We started movin' and we felt alright
You met a guy with red shoes on
You left me standing there all alone

Going round, don't know what I want to be
Somethings got a hold of me
There's something in my eyes I cannot see
What am I going to do?
With me?

I went to work on Monday night
The moon was up and I was feeling alright
I threw up from the booze I had drank
I left it all in the bosses fishtank

Going round, don't know what I want to be
Somethings got a hold of me
There's something in my eyes I cannot see
What am I going to do?
With me?

Took a walk last Thursday night
My head full of things that didn't seem right
I found a church and I knelt and prayed
For that spaceship to take me away

Going round, don't know what I want to be
Somethings got a hold of me
There's something in my eyes I cannot see
What am I going to do?
With me?

Pins and Needles

It's hard to sleep when you come into my mind
When my body feels like it's on fire
You say you don't feel the way do
But I know that you're a liar
You're just being mean
If you don't love me
Then why can't you stay out of my dreams?

Why are you talking?
I can't understand
A word you say
You need to just
Stop talking
And everything will be okay

I found a dead rat under my bed
He speaks to me when I get sad
He collects my tears when I cry
And I can scream at him when I get mad
I speak French to the skinhead mailman
Who comes at a quarter to ten
He drops of pieces of your body
Then he's gone and I live again

Why are you still talking?
My head is hurting
Pins and needles
Pins and needles
Just keep your mouth shut
And I can love you
I want to love you
Okay?

I drink the water from the ceiling
As the air drips down my face
I take your heart and rub it on me
Your body is mine to taste
Just a few more pieces together
And I'll have you all to myself
You'll put my head back into one piece
And take me from this Hell

I told you
I warned you
I couldn't take it
You made me do it
Sticking pins into my brain
I don't need needles in my brain
Okay?
OKAY?

Some Ear Candy

I just found these two awesome songs and I thought I'd post them up.
First the original...


...And then the song that was based on the original:


I love when I find cool stuff like this. I'm going to be singing "we don't go to God's house anymore" in my head all week. Probably not out loud though...