Monday, August 3, 2009

The Day Billy Became a Productive Member of Society

Mrs. Oldcrotch was skullfucking Suzy Noname when she spotted Billy McCree drawing in his notebook. She pulled her huge pulsating cock out of Suzy's eye-socket with a pop and stomped over to his desk. She grabbed the notebook and slammed the picture against her huge bulging eyeballs, rubbing it up and down. Billy didn't protest. The last time he did he had gotten sent to the principals office and had to eat fermented sour-cream off the old man's hairy nut sack.
"What the Hell is this shit?" Oldcrotch screamed and ripped the notebook to shreds. "This is obscene! Horrible! You fucking stupid retarded monkey fuck stick! Your parents are going to hear about this, after I tie them to a tree and rape them with tire irons."
Then she shoved the paper into her mouth, chewed, and spit it in Billy's face. She pulled an ax out of the zero-space of her vagina and cleaved his head in two.
"I've had enough of your bullshit. Art has no place in the civilized world. We need worker drones to do work for the rich people. Don't you know that's what school is for? Did you think this was all a game?" She screamed as she ripped out pieces of brain. Then she took her gigantic cock and leaned it up against his face, pissing directly into his skull till it filled the cavity and flooded the tiles.
Out of the massive mounds of wax that clung to the inside of her ears she pulled a handful of advertisements, slogans, and false history and shoved them into the piss that now occupied Billy's head. They floated for a bit, then soaked up the vile liquid and expanded till they took up every bit of space.
Billy smiled. It was all so clear now. Creativity was for fags. Billy saw his future as a bright shining beacon of hope: he would get a factory job to support the companies that gave him fast food to eat and a shitty over-priced apartment to live in while his wife popped out kids to eat up the resources of an already over-populated world.
Mrs. Oldcrotch farted loudly and then went back to her skullfucking. Later she would vomit wonderful lies about Mexican immigrants and Native Americans and they would all eat of it happily. The world was a safe place to live.

America: the home of free speech? Bull-fucking shit:
Yeah, it pisses me off. It should piss you off too.


Justin said...

This is probably the best thing I've read yet on this site.

Oh yeah, I heard about Mike Diana about 3 years ago. His work isn't really for my tastes (though the work of his influences, S Clay Wilson and Rory Hayes, is), but no artist deserves a criminal conviction for obscenity. Yup, made me mad too.

Justin said...

By "This is probably the best thing I've read yet on this site," I meant your story, not Diana's obscenity conviction.

Kurdt said...

Thanks! Twas a story born out of anger and frustration...and the desire to stretch the limits of how filthy I'm willing to write.

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna go with a big fat absolute "no." Sorry, buddy, but even with freedom of speech this just isn't appropriate. I do admire your writing and I think you're brilliant but this just isn't it.

Kurdt said...

Yeah, sorry Jen, I figured you wouldn't like it. I'll get some poetry up in the coming week to make up for it...