Monday, July 5, 2010

I Suddenly Felt Like Writing Again

A True Story

When I was in eighth grade I had a science class. The whole thing was set up so that instead of it actually being interesting, we just read out of our textbooks for an hour. The textbooks in question were incredibly old and most of them were falling apart. There were whole chunks of mine that I could just pull right out. The whole thing was incredibly boring and pointless and no one really learned anything, especially since it was essentially trying to teach us the same shit we had already learned in fifth grade, not that anyone really cared anyways.
One strange past time that sprung up and seemingly had been going on for awhile, was defacing our cruddy textbooks. It must have been going on for years since every book I saw had crude renderings of penises and boobs and retarded captions drawn on a large majority of the pictures. It was stupid but at least it made class time go by faster when you could flip through and find a previously innocent drawing of a boy leaning over a girl that now showed him trying to rail her with the same smile on both their faces.
I remember one in particular was a drawing of a boy cleaning out a bathtub. Some wit had drawn an erect cock onto the boy's pants and had scribbled in the caption: "I wonder what bro is doing?"
It was kind of a curious thing to me. It was retarded, but did it have some sort of meaning? Obviously, the sharp wit that had set about defacing school property had tried to imply some sort of homosexual incest fantasy, but why hadn't he just written something like "I want to fuck my brother" or "My brother has a hot cock" or something straight forward like that. Maybe he was trying to sound smart by implying rather than just putting it right out there or maybe he was afraid that if he got caught writing the word "fuck" he'd get in worse trouble. But then again, he did draw a cock.
I probably puzzled too much over it, it was probably made by the same type of person that thought he could say "spanked my monkey" in front of the teachers and they wouldn't know what he meant. I knew quite a few of those guys, sadly.

They got new textbooks a couple years after that. I suppose they were better in a way, but the fun of pulling out pages and scribbling dirty sex jokes on something the school owned while having the risk of getting caught be pretty low was gone.
I'm not promoting vandalism all I'm saying is that when you're stuck all day in a place you can't stand listening to stuff you couldn't give two shits about, you take your cheap thrills where you can.
Being a teenager sucks.

2 comments:

Justin said...

Geat, great post. I missed your writing. This is actually the most readable blog I've seen. Keep it up!

Oisin O'Sullivan said...

I read a Robert Crumb comic that sounds like that. Except it was the daughter, not the son.
Glad to see more stuff on here too