Wednesday, February 10, 2010


(New meme! Post your own middle finger pic! Tell the world what you really think!)

I have an orange. I'm wondering what would happen if I hucked it at a passing car while I was walking down the street. I'd love to hear that joyful "smack" as it hit the windshield, possibly breaking it. Then the person would stop and get out and I'd tell them I was the king of Siam, and the imperial grand wizards of my castle had built me a time machine, allowing me to go forward to the future to huck oranges at people.
More people need oranges thrown at them. Some people need it a few times a day, some people need it all the time. I wish I could get a job throwing oranges at people.
I'm sick of being human. I'm sick of this aimless slide towards death, the eternal void of nothingness, the short hours that I've been alloted filled with tedium. Yeah yeah, I know it's what life is, but I fucking hate it. I hate it like I hate Carlos Mencia.
So is that how it's supposed to be? Glory and interesting things for some, and tedium for the rest? Well, I suppose there's alcohol to at least make you forget how much your life sucks, but it only blinds you.
Okay, here's something else I've come to realize: I will never have a steady girlfriend. Why? Because of my real name. You may have realized that the name that I go by on the Internet is not what I'm commonly called by in the real world. I chose it because it's cool. And because I fucking hate my real name. My real name will never get me girls but I think I was fated to have it. It fits me, the shy guy that never gets any. The weirdo that doesn't fit in anywhere. The one that hates clubs and crowded spaces. So why don't I just go party it up like everyone else? Because then I'd just do something stupid and get laughed at, and I fucking hate being laughed at. Being ignored is fine, but when I'm being mocked and degraded, it pisses me off.
But hey, now I'm being all depressed, why don't I just smile more and think happy thoughts? Um no, I'll smile when I fucking feel like it and not much is making me smile right now, so I'm not going to.
Ha ha ha, I have no future!
Ha ha ha, I flunked out of college twice!
Ha ha ha ha, I think I'm going to puke!
Sunshine and flowers. Sunshine that burns and flowers that eat human flesh. That's all you're going to get from me.
I need to start making collages again. I made a few when I was in high school. My favorite one I made from pictures in an old psychology textbook that I dug out of the free box at a book sale. If I had a scanner, I'd post it. I haven't seen it for years though, maybe it's not as good as I remember it. Probably. No one I showed it to thought it was any good.
I tried to make one out of random pictures I found on the net, but that's harder to do. It's easier to flip through a magazine and find pictures that I like and can glue how I want than to dig through websites and try to get MS paint to work right. Hmmm, this does sound like an interesting weekend project though. I need some glue and poster board, maybe a random magazine. And a scanner. I wonder if I can find one for cheap?

In the meantime, here's a picture I made using MS Paint and google search:


Justin said...

I know you think it's just venting drivel, but these manifestos are amazing and interesting, though depressing. I don't know what to say that wouldn't come off as stupid and awkward. I just want to say this: Don't bring yourself down too far. That sounds trite but I feel like I should try to do something. I don't know.

They have cheap scanners at Best Buy, by the way.

Kurdt said...

It's alright man. Sometimes I just go through periods where I'm depressed and angry and have nowhere to really vent. At least it's somewhat interesting, it's just vomit from my brain really.

Hey, weren't you going to post some of your art up?