Wednesday, March 31, 2010

More Comic Book Ads

Alright, lets start off with another infamous series of comic book ads:

I love how lame the villains are in all of these, you just know these were written by ad executives, but they look just like real comics!

There doesn't seem to be too much funny about this one, but look closer:

First off, that doesn't look like a kid's room in the big panel. It looks like a living room! Look at how fucking smug the kid looks in the "door" panel. You know he just stuck that somewhere he wasn't supposed to. The "notebook" is probably his sister's diary, the lunchbox looks like it's his dad's...and of course he stuck Green Arrow and Green Lantern on his parent's car! This kid is a brat and seeing as how spanking wasn't as frowned upon as it is now, probably got his ass beat pretty hard.

Ah, Sea Monkey's. Another well known comic book scam:

Do they even sell these anymore? Everyone and their grandmother knows it's just fucking brine shrimp. You can buy them at pet stores to feed to certain kinds of fish for crying out loud!

Another muscle ad:

Damn is this one gay looking! I wonder how many 90 LBS nerds bought this only to have it smack them in the face and take out an eye? Check out a pre-movie fame Ahnuld down by the send in square.

Another muscle ad, the books I have are full of them:

Build your muscles by jamming dynamite into them!

This one is interesting for a few reasons:

One, I would have totally sent away for this. Two, this was probably released to capitalize on the then upcoming horrible King Kong remake. Third, it mentions Queen Kong, a movie so bad that it never received theatrical release and was only really seen by anybody when it recently came out on DVD! (Which I'm going to rent soon, of course.)

For some reason there's a lot of ads for Slim Jims too:

I had always thought that Slims were a 90s thing, but I guess I was wrong. Check out the ad for "grit" too. Don't sell seeds holiday cards or any of that junk, sell grit! You'll be able to take Suzy to the roller rink in no time!

And now we have what I like to call "buy crazy shit":

I would totally have blown all my allowance on this stuff when I was a kid. Sadly, all of these ads seem to have gone away after awhile. I have a couple 90s comic books that just have video game ads in them. Its Kind of sad really. Where will today's kids get exploding pens, hypno-coins, and x-ray specs? Where I ask you, WHERE?

And finally, Wendy wants you to join the female branch of the Hilter Youth:

Apparently signing up turns you a nice healthy shade of blueish-green!

I'll end with this unrelated clip, which you should watch because it's awesome.

(From Maniac! (1934))

Not sure what I'm going to put up tomorrow night. Probably the rest of the covers. I don't think I'm legally allowed to post up full comics am I? If anyone has any idea, let me know!

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