Friday, April 2, 2010

In a dark basement somewhere east of Slanasville...

Hello Bill.
Where am I?
I'll ask the fucking questions thank you very fucking much.
Where am...*SMACK*
Oh god, shit!
I told you to shut the fuck up and when I tell you to do something you do it! I'm in charge here! This ain't no fucking Mickey Mouse blowjob parade! I ain't got no Cinderella costume on! Got it Billy boy? Right. I'll allow you to ask one question now.
Where...Where am I? Why am I chained to the wall?
That was two fucking questions! *SMACK* YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT LISTENING ARE YOU BILL? *SMACK* You're not at a beach blanket party jerking off into your shorts while motherfucking Buddy Holly plays on your shitty portable stereo. There ain't no 300 LB grandmas with wrinkly elbows to bring you fucking ice cream when the big bad kids kick over your sandcastle. I ain't your fucking grandma! Ask the fucking question again.
W-w-where am I?
It doesn't matter, you're going to be dead soon anyways. Do you like that word? Dad? It's very pleasant and peaceful sounding...
Oh dear sweet Jesus help me!
Jesus? Jesus was a pedophile that kidnapped little kids and dragged them off to his cave, his rape cave Bill! Didn't you read that part of The Bible? Why the fuck are you praying to pedophile rapist? I had a pedophile here one time. I shoved his cock into a meat grinder and then made him eat it.
What are you going to do to me?
*sigh* I'll let that one slide because I'm tired of yelling. My real world boss did a lot of yelling. Till I ripped his throat out with a pair of metal siding shears. Sometimes I feel like him, like his soul is living in my body. Then I get mean and start yelling. I'm not really mean. I don't do this for fun. But it has to be done. There's not two ways around it yesindeededoo!
Please let me go, please! I have a wife and kids!
Oh, really Bill? Do you think of them when you're skull fucking your secretary in those shitty motels?
I never...
I have it on tape. Do you want to see? I showed it to a friend of mine and he threw up! Fucking threw up right there in front of me! I guess that's not a big thing for you since you don't know Don, but he's even more fucked up in the head then I am! I guess seeing too much of your hairy ass and floppy weird looking balls sent him over the edge...
You can't do this YOU CAN'T!
You don't know how cliche you sound right now. You know how many people I've ripped apart in here? Didn't you notice how bad it smells? You think I like this smell? Do you think I like hearing people scream as pieces come off of them? I don't get off on this shit like a lot of people do. But it has to be done. It's my fucking JOB!
If I get out of here, you'll pay for this you sick fuck!
*sigh* You all sound the same, exactly the fucking same...wonder what I'll use on you though. Gonna take a lot of tearing since you're so goddamn fat. I like to feed my creative instincts and you certainly have a wide enough canvas for me to do that!
I'm dreaming! I've got to be! This can't be real! Why can't I wake up? Oh dear god...
Reality is a dream created and controlled by things well beyond your simple comprehension. If you were any smarter you would connect the dots and realize that I am one of their agents. You are a flaw in the system that must be dealt with in the harshest way possible.
Nope, I'm perfectly sane, this is just my job...oooh, band saw! It's trite and obvious but it's good to start with.
One more thing before we start here. When you reach the other side and you sit in judgement before the elders, please don't lie about what you've done. You might get a small bit of time in Hell and be sent back to the system again if they think you have a chance of repenting. Probably not, but it's worth a try. Oh and this is going to hurt...a LOT!
*loud screams*

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