Sunday, March 15, 2009

How to win an argument

"Arrrgh, what the Hell are you thinking?" I said as I punched my best friend in the face, dislodging several teeth.
"Yanni is the best new age musician ever, not your hack John Tesh! Teshy boy isn't worthy enough to lick Yanni's sandaled feet!"
The he came at me, swinging his meaty fists and cursing every dog I had ever owned.
"Yeh son of a hore, yeh Miffy had ta mange and yeh Rover was a queero!" He hit me hard on the side of the head, popping my left eyeball out of its socket. He reared back to smuck me again and stopped. He looked sad.
"I dinna mean to knock ye glassy out a its home." He said and put his head down while I grabbed it gingerly and tried to set it back in.
"It's alright," I said and winced. "The pains not too bad I guess."
I got it back in place and we both laughed. The Starbucks was busting with people that day and the couple next to our table laughed along with us. I guess they had been following our conversation. I smirked and sipped my coffee.
"Yanni's still the best though." I said into my cup.
Angus looked pissed again. "What ya say ya daft pansy? I dunna think I heard ya right."
I put my coffee down and looked him right in his bulgy eye balls.
"I said, you red haired, no showering excuse for a Scotsman, that..."
Then I threw my coffee in his face. He screamed and rolled around on the ground cursing all of my 13 cats.
So basically, I won. Yanni is the best that ever was and even hard headed Angus had to agree. He'd better, or I'll fucking cut his head off and piss down his neck.


Anonymous said...

Very diplomatic.

Anonymous said...

I'd believe that Walt couldn't draw. On Jungle Book, he shit all over Kipling's story.

I did see that TV Funhouse with Mickey! It's great they called him out for not being funny, the c**t.

Honestly, though: I do enjoy many Disney films. I think they have quality animation. But the name doesn't mean a goddamned thing anymore.

I'll work on the post for later.