Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Song of the Happy Clown

Come one
come all
We'll all have so much fun
I can sing
I can juggle
I can dance
I can play all the current popular songs
On my ukulele
And my bike horn
I'll wear funny pants
I'll do anything to make you laugh
I'll hit my head
I'll fall down
I'll cut all my veins wide open
Here's my blood
Just for you
Aren't we having such a good time?
I'll tell jokes
I'll throw pies
If you don't laugh then I'll die
And I'll take you all with me
Here's a balloon
Just for you
It looks just like my ex-wife
Laugh goddamn you laugh!
Watch me dance
And piss my pants
I'll do anything to make you laugh
I'll do anything to make you laugh
Please laugh
Or I swear I'll kill your dog
And by the way
Happy birthday
It's such a special day for you
Here's your cake
Isn't it great?
I wish it was my birthday
All I got when I was a kid
Was a kick in the ass
Now lets all dance
To this tune
I wrote it about killing small animals
No you can't leave
What did I just say?
One more step and I'll blow you away
And that would ruin
Timmy's special day
Lets all thank him
For inviting you
To his very special party
And for hiring
Binky the happy dancing clown.

I wish I could play guitar, I so would write a tune for this thing.


Phantom Spitter said...

Holy crap, Kurdt! That's scary! But good. REALLY good!

My mom's afraid of clowns. If she read that she'd pass out.

kurdt said...

Clowns creep the crud out of me too. There's something about that fake painted on smile and the overly goofy act, its like they're hiding something. Something EVIL I'm sure...

Anonymous said...

This is pretty scary. REALLY good, and kinda funny, but scary.

Inspired in anyway by Jhonen Vasquez?

kurdt said...

Possibly inspired by JV, but most of my writing comes from a muddled mix of comics, movies, books, childhood traumas, people I've met, and a million other things that sit in my brain and rot till I throw them up, half eaten and broken down by digestive acids. So it's hard to tell where anything comes from.