Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Choose Your Own Fate Part 5

1.) You must escape the horrible torture of sitcom after sitcom, so you remind the thing about its demand to go to the garage.

Will do Spitter!

Oh God, another Brady Bunch episode! If this keeps up you'll have Jan Brady's voice stuck in your head forever! With an amazing force of will you leap up and knock the TV over where it lands on the floor in a flash of electric sparks and smoke. Then everything thing is dark and silent. You stand for what seems like an eternity, breathing heavily before the voice in your head speaks up softly and eerily calm.
"Why did you do that? That was very rude of you. Now you will have to be punished!" It says. You think fast,
"Because....because we still have to go to the garage, remember? You really wanted to go there! Don't hurt me!"
"Hmmm," the thing ponders for a bit, "Yes, you're right. The hilarity of American scripted comedy distracted me from my true mission! Let us go!"
Suddenly you're running full speed through the kitchen, past the basement stairs, and to the door leading to the garage. Too bad the thing forgets to make you open the damn thing and you slam right into it. You sit on the floor holding your bleeding nose.
"DOOR OPEN NOW PITIFUL HUMAN SCUM!" Screams the thing. "OR I KILL YOU FOOL POOPY JERK FACE PASTY SKINNED WEAK STUPID BUTT HEAD..."

What will you do now?
1. Open the door and see what it was that it wanted in the garage.
2. There's a plunger in the basement bathroom, maybe that would work to get it out of your head somehow?
3. This is all too much! Scream your head off and pee your pants.
4. Sit and sing Top of the World by The Carpenters.
5. Sing Carpenter's songs while you waltz into the garage.

2 comments:

Phantom Spitter said...

5! Only music could make you feel better about the situation, plus you get into the garage too.

J.R. Spumkin said...

(5)!

I mean, what else would you do in this situation?