This was written on sticky notes and little scraps of paper while I sat at my desk pretending to work today. Hope you guys like it!
Despair hits you like a ton of bricks. Blood pours out of your nose and stains the front of your wide collared shirt. You want to cry and pee your pants, but you know that won't help stop the thing inside your head from yelling and screaming obscenities. Suddenly flash bulbs go off and you smile. What do you always do when you're sad to cheer yourself up that would drown out the the icky thing's rantings? Why, sing of course! You take a deep breath and yodel out the first song that comes to your mind.
"I fell in love with you before the second show
Your guitar, it sounds so sweet and clear
But you're not really here
Its just the radio..."
The thing stops shouting and when you get to the first chorus it sings along!
"Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby!
You said you'd be coming back this way again baby!
Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh, baby, I love you I really do!"
You let it sing the next verse and run quickly into the garage.
This dank oil smelling cavern is also your dad's workshop, which you were never allowed in till now. It's still pretty easy to find his tools since he's a slob and never puts things away. You grab a pair of pilers off a pile of tools.
"Loneliness is a such a sad affair
And I can hardly wait to be with you agai..."
The thing stops singing and shouts.
"Hey, what do you think you're doing boy? I don't fucking think so!"
Before you can get the pilers halfway up to your face it takes control of your hand and starts to pull it down. Gathering up all your will you pull back and your hand slowly raises. You get it close, oh so close, when the thing screams,
"Damn you, you sitcom hating freak!"
And gives a mighty tug on your hand, sending the pilers skittering across the floor. Thunder booms and it screams,
"You're mine forever! Do you hear me, forever!" Then it laughs like a retarded Vincent Price.
In desperation you shout, "Hey, look out over there!"
To your very great surprise your half ass desperate ruse works and with a "huh" the thing turns your head around and you break for it grabbing the pliers and shoving them firmly up your right nostril.
The thing screams, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" as the pliers grab a hold of something spongy which you hope isn't brain tissue and you give it a mighty tug.
The thing flies out with one yank and lies on the floor spasming and mewling like a wounded puppy, a quivering pile of snot, blood, and slime.
It's trying to crawl away, get it!
Your mighty sledgehammer of doom comes down directly in the middle of the thing and it deflates, squirting green and black blood all over the dirty floor.
"That was for making me sing along to Keith Partridge you son of a bitch!" You scream and pound it again.
After the horrid thing is just little bits of slime and tissue splattered everywhere, you stop to catch your breath. Wiping the sweat and gunk off your forehead you reflect on the events that have just transpired. You've never felt so alive!
What will you do next?
1. Run around in the rain like an idiot.
2. Gather up some slime, go over to the girl's house that wouldn't go with you to prom, and shove it in her face!
3. Go to your scientist neighbor's house and get him to come see what's left of this thing.
4. Explore the dark garage by yourself.