Friday, January 23, 2009


Okay, here's three possible choices for the introduction story to Seven Deadly Stories. Pick which one you like best!

Robert stood at the window looking out at the stars and the smiling skull face of the moon. He was wondering just how he was going to finish his spaceship and get to the nearest bordering galaxy to answer the mysterious telegraph he had received that day when a voice spoke up behind him.
"I don't want to go to Aunt Laurie's house!"
He sighed and answered his little sister without turning around.
"I don't want to go either, whats your reason?"
"It's boring and it smells funny and last time she locked us in the attic and wouldn't let us out!"
He sighed, "Yeah I know, but we have to go."
"Why? You're old enough so that we can stay alone for one night."
He turned away from the window and looked at her pouting in his patched up beanbag chair. "Because they think she's just a lonely old woman who needs company. She's not but thats what they think. So they send us over there and then they go to the movies."
"Why don't they just go over there themselves?"
Robert turned back to the window and thought about his visit to D-7 again. "Because they don't thats why. They just don't."
"Kids? Are you ready yet? Get your butts down here!"
Trying to smile he took his sister's hand and they walked out of the kid friendly comfort of his room and the warmth of the house and dreaded the long hours ahead.

Of course, like last time, Aunt Laurie was all smiles but as soon as the sound of her sister's car was long gone into the night the veneer of friendliness fell away.
"Pain in the ass kids, thats all you are! Pain in the ass kids!" She thought she was muttering to herself but Robert and Ann could hear her quite clearly. They looked at each other but kept silent.
"Now go play in here," she said and shuffled them into a small empty back room, locking the door behind them. They heard the TV come on and several farts, followed by a long series of snores.
Robert looked at Ann, shivering in the cold. "Well, its better than the attic isn't it?" He tried to smile again.
"At least in the attic there were boxes to look through...whats in that filing cabinet thingy over there?"
They walked over and opened it. Ann looked like she was about to burst into tears. "It's just a bunch of stupid paper, what are we going to do now Rob!"
"Well, theres writing on it and...hey, whats this?" He reached back into the cabinet's dark recesses and pulled out a small hardcover book. He read the cover: "Seven Deadly Stories: Tales of bad things happening to bad people."
Ann brightened up. "Read it to me Robert!"
With a sigh he sat on the floor and opened the book to the first page...

Deep within the recesses of D-7, far below the big metal cities full of people of various alien races going about their daily lives, far below the secret government shelters where the secret police could come and go onto the surface as they pleased, there lay the famous D-7 prison holding tanks. Here in the luxurious confines of it's small dank rooms sat the scum of the universe, awaiting execution. Filfal fungus provided light but if you've ever had to use it, say you were stranded on the far off moon of Menton-6 at night, you would now that its barley enough to see by, least of all keep the Callan wolves at bay. Gorhan picked at a piece of it and put it in his mouth to see if he could eat it. It burned his tongue and he spit it onto the damp ground.
"Formehental gheminey!" He cursed in his native language. He heard a voice laughing behind him and quickly turned around. It was just that stupid old man again. Gorhan wondered if he could eat him. He'd probably taste better than the muddy slop they were fed through tubes in the ceiling everyday.
Gorhan frowned, "Whats so funny you wrinkled old toad?"
The old man laughed his annoying crazy laugh again, "You my fine purple friend, you are funnier than a Doctorian clown-man!"
"I'm orange you blind old fool. How long have you been down here?"
"I've always been down here, and will be long after they've dropped you off the Montorain cliffs!" He laughed again and Gorhan seriously considered taking a bite out of his wrinkled old neck, just to shut him up.
"Would you like to hear some stories young man, it will help to pass the time. Or were you just going to try and eat me? I don't have much meat, here take a bite!"
He offered Gorhan his twisted warty arm.
Gorhan held back his gag reflex. He sat down hard and the ground smooshed under him.
"Okay old man, what have you got? These better be good or I'm cracking your head open and eating your brain. I don't care if it is full of parasitic worms."
The old man smiled, oh these are good. I've had a million years to think these up. Oh yes you will like them very well, yes you will. You will like them so much that liking them will be all that you can think about, like them so much you will, in fact..."
"Get on with it you senile old bag!" Shouted Gorhan.
The old man coughed and cleared his throat for a very long time before starting...

You are lost in the jungle. The rest of your crew died horrible deaths to disease and animals with large teeth, leaving you to find your way back to civilization on your own. It's not looking good. You've wandered for many days and nights and all you've seen is trees and animals that want to eat you or drink your blood. You have no clean water left and have been surviving by drinking rain and eating small insects and lizards. Thankfully none have been poisonous yet. Wearily you push through the thick trees and hack at vines with your machete. You're thinking of the man who sent you on this mission to find the lost tribe of GanuGanu and how you'd like to break your fist off in his face when you stumble on something and fall hard to the ground.
Looking up you see the outline of something through the trees. As you make your way over to it, you see that it is a large temple shaped object, possibly a temple. For no good reason you can think of, you start up the steps to the top.
The weird looking thing in the small room at the top of the temple shaped object smiles at you as you enter. It looks like a small monkey but wrinkly and man sized. You want to pet it and feed it a banana. It speaks and its voice is like if you crossed Tom Waits with Britney Spears. Now you just want to slap it.
"Would you like to hear a story young man?"
"Well, I'd like some food more." You reply.
"And I want a DVD player and an Asian hooker to shave my back hair," The thing replies, "but it ain't gonna happen."
You sigh and sit in front of the disgusting but somehow cute looking thing and pick the bot fly larva out of your arms.
It opens it's mouth and starts to speak...


Phantom Spitter said...

They're all so good! It's really hard to pick just one... either #1 or #3. #3 I guess. Yeah, that's the best one.

Phantom Spitter said...

Oh, and you have to write an afterward in the same setting as the introduction, to wrap it up. YOU GOT TO!!

kurdt said...

Lol, yeah, that was the plan. Then maybe put another piece about halfway through the book.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I prefer #1 the most. I like the way it plays off with the innocent intro. Does it succeed into malice and mayhem of the science-fictional variety?

By the way, my Story-Bible Blog is up!

Phantom Spitter said...

I agree that intro #1 would "fit" more, but I just found #3 more entertaining, mostly because the "Asian hooker" remark cracked me up.

What do you think, Kurdt? Which do you like best?

kurdt said...

I really like #1 and I think it would fit the tone of the rest of the stories best. I might reuse #3 on a choose your own adventure type parody I plan on getting to sometime in the future.