Monday, January 19, 2009

Tales from the Crypt Season 2 Part 3

Okay, I'm kinda tired so lets dispense with the bad puns and get right to the last batch of episodes for this season. Oh alright, *cough* welcome boils and ghouls to the last few gorisodes of the frightfully fiendish season 2! Hope you like my reviews, and be sure to put your uh...dead remarks in the comments hextion! Okay, enough of that. They still haven't put the intro back on the episodes but at least you get to see it once when you put the DVD in. The only extra is a much too short documentary about season two that interviews different people involved. It also stars the new cryptkeeper puppet which looks much too stiff compared to the old one. John Kassir's voice is still dead on though. I wish I could do cryptie's voice like he can, I'd call people up randomly on the phone and make bad puns and then laugh in their ears. Okay, on to the episodes...

Episode 13: Korman's Kalamity
I knew that the original comic books did stories that involved the writers and other people that worked at EC but I had no idea they'd make an episode out of one! Jim Korman's drawings are coming to life thanks to side effects from an experimental fertility drug that his hideous hulk of a wife is making him take. How can he stop it from happening? Does he want to?
This a great episode and has the most comic-booky style yet. The colors are garish and bright and the monsters look like they could have stepped right out of an EC cover. Also there's probably a ton of in-jokes that I missed that someone who knows the history of the books better would catch. Fun episode all around. B+

Episode 14: Lower Berth
At a carnival freak show in the 1900s a two headed man named Enoch falls in love with a 2000 year old mummy. What kind of kids do you think they'd make? I wonder...
This is one of the shows signature episodes for reasons I won't give away. It's also very well done with lots of stuff happening that keeps your mind from trying to figure out how it's going to end. A

Episode 15: Mute Witness to Murder
A woman witnesses her next door neighbor kill his wife and is rendered mute by the experience. The husband sends for the doctor and it turns out to be...Doc Boy from the Waltons! Yup, Richard Thomas (and his mole) plays the evil doctor that locks the woman up in an asylum to shut her up. He's wonderfully slimy too, and he seemed like such a nice boy down on the Walton's farm...
While this is sort of a rip-off of Rear Window it goes off on it's own to be an alright episode. C

Episode 16: Television Terror
Oh man, is this a great one! Morton Downey Jr.(!) plays a Geraldo type "news reporter" who decides to do a show where he goes live into a haunted house where an old woman had murdered her tenants to steal their social security money. Of course everything goes wrong in the worst way possible. I wish something like this had happened to Geraldo when he went into Al Capone's vault. Wouldn't that have been cool? Al Capone's zombie corpse coming up from the ground and ripping that stupid mustache right off Geraldo's face? Anyways, old people with chainsaws will always be awesome. A

Episode 17: My Brother's Keeper
A pair of conjoined twins are having trouble living together since they're so very different. One is an asshole party animal who likes booze and fast girls and the other is a wimp who enjoys the symphony and sitting quietly at home reading books. There's a scene where the one lies in bed while the other has sex with a nasty stripper. Now where have I heard this plot before...how about that piece of crap Farley brother's movie Stuck on You? Could they have stolen the plot from here? Possibly but this one has one brother trying to kill the other by taking sleeping pills and drinking vodka so this one is better. B

Episode 18: The Secret
So now we're at the final episode of the season and I can sum it up in one word: Epic! A little redheaded boy at an orphanage is adopted Annie style by a pair of weird rich people. But everything is just a little off and everyone has their secrets...
This really is sort of like Annie if it was written by twisted minds and actually not painful to sit through. God I hate that movie, I had to watch it on a bus trip one time when the batteries on my CD player died. Oh the pain! Now If I ever have to watch it again I can just imagine if Annie were a vampire and went around ripping peoples throats out with her teeth and it'll be much better. Thanks TFTC! This gets an A.

I don't know if the show was getting better directors or what but it's really starting to hit it's stride and seems to be getting more cinematic in quality. Each episode is like a half hour mini-movie. The cryptkeeper's jokes are getting funnier too. The last one of the season was "like one cow said to the other while they were going to slaughter, till again we MEAT!" I'm using that one sometime and it will probably get me hurt.
Hope you're still sticking with me on these reviews, see you again boils and ghouls for season three!

8 comments:

Phantom Spitter said...

Really great stuff!

Did you see my comment for the last post?

kurdt said...

Thanks! Yeah, I saw your comment and responded. :)

Phantom Spitter said...

OK! Can I still do some cover art or something? And will you put the books up for sale?

kurdt said...

I'm still trying to figure out if I want to just make it myself and give it away free through email or actually publish it with something like Lulu.com and have people buy it. I'm conflicted!
A cover would rule though. There's going to be seven stories all together, I don't know if you want to try and make one for all seven. That's a lot of work for no pay.

kurdt said...

We'll maybe if I'm going to have it seriously published I could pay something. If it's going to be free though then...oh I don't know...

kurdt said...

Okay, how about this? Sometime this week I'll post up one of the stories I've written so far. I'm kind of curious to see what you guys think about it anyways. Then maybe you could draw something based on it and post it on your blog? Just an idea...

Phantom Spitter said...

Oh sure! That'd be great. I really want you to do an actual book instead of a web-book thing, though. Please!

As I've said, My drawing as kinda limited, so maybe just some cover art? I dunno. I could do art for all stories. I don't want money for it. I'll gladly do it for free.

Phantom Spitter said...

I posted some drawings of what I had in mind on my blog, Neato Junk. Check it out!